Pointless Jalil Worship?
by Kay the Cricketed
Summary: ... please don't hurt me. -_-;; But I was hyper, and on a sugur rush... and this turned out. I AM a Jalil fan... YAY! Long live Jalil! ::waves fans:: Ahem... oh, and if you don't like the idea of slash, (male/male), even for humor's sake... don't re


Pointless Jalil Worship?  
  
By Kay  
  
Disclaimer: Hey, if I owned Everworld, it would never have quit- I woulda printed my own copies! I woulda forced Scholastic to bend to my will! ::sniffs:: And Jalil-sama would still be hitting on Christopher...  
  
Everyone: ::stares::  
  
... er, you didn't hear that. ::winks:: Right?  
  
Everyone: ... ::is suddenly gone::  
  
... damn it. Not again- is it MY fault everyone thinks Jalil is sexy as hell?! Nooooo- it's his OWN fault! -_-;;  
  
Author's Note: This is a pointless, idiotic bit of hyper fic written late in the night. If you flame me, I TRULY don't blame you. ::laughs:: I CAN write... just... not on sugur... gak... And if there's some SLASH- male/male- funny implications... s'not MY fault, darn it! It's just... everyone seems to think Jalil is sexy in this... it's mostly for humor's sake, though I AM a Christopher/Jalil fan... um... anyway! ^_^;;  
  
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It was a well known fact in Everworld that Jalil was sexy. In fact- incredibly sexy. Dark eyes, tall and slender, they all wanted him in black, and NOW. We're talking some seriously demented gods.   
  
Then again, everyone wants to see Jalil in black. Black leather, too, if at all possible. However, when we asked him for a comment on that, he merely replied, "You're insane, get the hell away from me, you freak!!" And ran away. We miss him.  
  
Luckily, our undercover reporter, Loki, is on his tail. (You go, Loki! Catch our cutie! Eheh... um... right... movin' on...)  
  
So. Even David, the great warrior with the sharp pointy toothpick thingie! He wanted him! It was in the way he kept dragging him awake in the middle of the night, off to some alien's camp, just so he could admire Jalil's sesky form in the dark without being noticed. That and he loves to show off how stunningly cool he is with the "sharp pointy toothpick thingie" he calls a sword. (We have yet to prove this is, in fact, a sword.) He wants to protect Jalil, not to mention his amazing hotness of all that's-  
  
Muse: Dear gods, will you SHUT UP!?!? You're scaring everyone! See?! They're all running away! Get on with it. You're totally useless... ::mutters darkly::  
  
FINE! Fine! Interrupt my train of thought, will you?! Damn it... grr... okay. Where was I?   
  
Oh yes. Everyone wanted Jalil. Even Christopher- especially our resident joker. Picking fights with him all the time, trying to mash his knee and face in, desperate for a touch. Telling his little brother he was sleeping with him- a blatant LIE! A LIE, I TELL YOU! ... anyway... Quite obviously he's been wishing to woo our poor Jalil-sama since Day One. When they dropped out of the sky in a house and landed on Senna.  
  
Muse 2: ...?! That's "Wizard of Oz", you BAKA! ::smacks:: Get it right, at least! And stop babbling about Jalil and Christopher and all sorts of scary things that make people want to buy new microwaves!  
  
Muse 1: Obviously my partner is insane... this must be fixed.  
  
Muse 3: Mission accepted. Omae o korosu.   
  
Muses: ... did he just say, "I'll kill you" in Japanese?  
  
Muse 1: ... Heero Yuy... ::sweatdrops:: Shall we get back to story?  
  
YES! I want back to my story, you jerks! AHEM. Before I was so rudely interrupted...  
  
Jalil was wanted by everyone. Cause he was a bishie... or not... but he was still sexy, so that made up for everything his lack of bishieness caused!  
  
April also wished to have Jalil, and had the most chance out of everyone, she figured. So she tried to make him fall for her, usually ending up on his side of the arguement, and caring for him. She also got the impression he cared for her as well. Later, she realized this to be sadly false, as he dumped a bucket of potatoes over her head and-  
  
Muse 2: That didn't happen!?!? WHAT THE ****?! Kaaaaaaaay!  
  
What?! I'm spicing the story up a little! I'm adding element, suspense, tension! CONFLICT, DARN YOU! CONFLICT!  
  
Muse 1: ... -_- Why do we bother?  
  
I have no idea why you do. You must be idiots, to put up with me. So let's move on, shall we? With Jalil and his great eyes... ooohhhhhh...  
  
Muse 3: ... hn...  
  
You know who *else* wanted Jalil for his sexiness?  
  
Muse 2: ... dear gods... -_-  
  
Loki! And Ganymede wanted him too, obviously, and has much more merit to want him, considering his sexuality preferances. (Go Ganymede! WE LOVE YOUR LOINCLOTH!) Sadly, Jalil did not enjoy the Great Loincloth of Ganymede. We pity this, but it's just as well, because he'd look much better in black robes anyway. Perhaps we could convince him to wear demin jackets as well.  
  
Muse 1: No... no, this is not happening... ::whimpers:: I'm to young to deal with her insane sugur rush!!  
  
Oh shut up. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Everyone in Everworld wanted Jalil...  
  
Muse 2: ::whispers:: No, they didn't. O.O;;  
  
YES, THEY DID! ::glares:: They all wanted him. Ahem. On with fic.  
  
So one day, Senna asks her little compact mirror she carried in her Barbie purse, "Mirror, Mirror, in my hand... who's the sexiest in all the land?"  
  
Of course, the Mirror was a very smart, pretty mirror. It knew the truth, so it told her the truth. "It's true you're wicked and indeed very fair... but Jalil is far more sexy, so THERE!"  
  
Senna was mad. So she stomped around, decided to make him miserable for his entire life, and torture him every way she knew possible. (What?! You seriously didn't believe she was mad at him for just humiliating her, did you?! You cad!) It's the solomn truth that she was angry that Jalil was far more sexy than she was. S'sad, ne?  
  
Muse 1: ... insane...  
  
So she tried to kill him, but instead April destroyed her for trying to ruin sexy Jalil's pretty face. ::cries:: Jaliiil... mi haibi... poor thing! GAK!  
  
Muse 2: At least stick to the story, okay?!  
  
Fine, fine. So Senna dies, we all mourn cause she was a cool character that tortured Jalil, and everyone gets out either dead or depressed. Hence, we march them to Hell and back, then decide to build a Jalil Worship Temple, designed to bow to the great God-like boy we all know and love.  
  
In the end of things, Jalil shunned everyone, told them he'd never wear black leather for their crazy arses, and eloped with someone who liked to say "Kitties!"  
  
They lived happily ever after, until the microwave broke. The end.  
  
Muse 1: ... thank god... -_-   
  
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OWARI ~ ..... yes, I'm crazy. :;blushes hotly;: IGNORE this, please. It was... uh... sugur rush, I'm ashamed to say. Just uploaded it cause... well... it was fun to write! :;laughs:: Gah... okay, anyway, thanks for reading if you did. Don't hurt me! Please?! Ayi... going to go hide now and wonder WHY I uploaded this...  
  
Muse 3: ::glares:: I'm going to destroy you for this.   
  
... ::RUNS::  
  
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End file.
